Ten weeks ago my family suffered the tragic loss of our daughter Melinda Grace Currie who was stillborn at 38weeks and 5 days, at Werribee Mercy Hospital. The events that followed have been nothing short of humbling and we would like to thank the community of Point Cook and surrounds for their encouragement, love and support.
At 3:30am Wednesday morning the 17th of July I woke up and, as i had countless nights previously (as you may know this is nothing unusual for a pregnant woman and in fact had been a common occurrence for the last 10 or so weeks) , I lay in my my bed waiting to feel little flutters and kicks before rolling over and going back to sleep. But they never came. At first I tried to ignore the feeling of dread, afterall we had been in the hospital the evening before for a quick check of bub as I had been feeling anxious, She was perfectly fine and we had headed home for a normal evening together as a family. But when in the dark that morning I didn't feel any movements for over an hour I began to panic. Trying all the tricks I knew to make her move, nothing worked and when in a panic we arrived at the hospital around 6am, our sleepy 4 year old daughter in tow, we were absolutely devastated to discover that there was no heartbeat, our precious daughter had left us. What followed was truly the hardest day of our lives. After losing our son 2 years ago at 18 weeks pregnant (2 weeks after our relocation to melbourne) we had finally come to believe we would bring Melinda home, we thought we were safe with this our precious baby girl. It was a crippling blow.
Upon hearing the news of Melinda's passing one of our friends from Lightpoint church posted of her shock and devastation in one of the Point Cook mothers groups on Facebook. Quickly word passed of our loss and the community responded with open hearts. Messages of love and support filled the mums pages, meal rosters were organised, tears were shed for our angel, an online event was organised to coordinate donations and suggestions. Overnight a community was united in love for our precious girl.
Melinda was born sleeping at 8:45pm on Wednesday night (17th July) she weighed 3.57kg and was a perfect 52.5cm long. With the tender care and support of four beautiful midwives, over the next 2 days we spent some time with our stunningly beautiful girl. Soaking in her features and trying to remember every single detail of her. During our stay a volunteer from the organisation Heartfelt arrived to take some photos of us and Melinda, we will cherish these photos forever (if you would like to see them we are happy to share, they are tastefully taken and absolutely beautiful) When we left the hospital on the Friday morning our arms were empty and our hearts broken.
We arrived home to a house full of flowers, a pantry and fridge full of groceries and many messages of love. That night the first of many meals arrived on our doorstep ready to eat. I had never met the beautiful lady who provided this meal and offered her heartfelt sympathies via my mum who answered the door. Every afternoon for nearly four weeks without fail a meal arrived at around 5:30pm cooked with love by a stranger (and often paid for by a different stranger as I've been told). When the community learnt we needed our yard tended to a local gardening business (grassmasters) volunteered to help. The owner of this business and his wife worked tirelessly for 4 hours to tame our vegetation. We were overwhelmed by their generosity. Over the coming days as we learnt the dance of grief no parent should ever have to know our every need as tended to. The mothers groups organised activities and gifts for our 4 year old daughter Elianna. A local hairdresser Leanne Cassar donated her time and skills to cut locks of hair from each of our heads to place in with our baby when we said goodbye. She also returned on the day of the memorial to do my hair as I was too distraught to contemplate it.
Melinda's farewell service was held last friday the 26th july (on her due date) at Tobin Brothers Chapel in synnot st Werribee. A talented local photographer and friend, Jenna, donated her time and skills to help us record Melinda's memorial. We asked people to dress in colour and bring a bear in place of flowers. The chapel was as full as our hearts when we saw the community's response. There were so many people there that we had never met, as well as names I recognised and some of Elianna's kindergarten friends and their mums, Women with whom I had exchanged pleasantries in the hallway at Featherbrook kindergarten and excitedly updated on my pregnancy progress. All came to lend their support or a shoulder and say goodbye to our most loved and wanted princess. Natalie Holt from "Lets Celebrate" party supplies at point cook donated bunches of helium balloons for release and the mothers of point cook organised a pair of doves for our daughter Elianna to release as Melinda was finally driven away.
After the service I was presented with a card made by a fellow mum and filled with messages of love from some of the mums in point cook who had donated time, money or resources to help ease our heavy hearts. These same mums are organising to purchase a piece of memorial jewellery for my husband so he may always carry something of Melinda's with him and have kindly donated a voucher for Elianna to build-a-bear in memory of her little sister. (Photo by Keith Meure)
The 100 bears that were brought to the service and the many more that have arrived at our house and are on their way here in the coming days will be donated to Werribee Mercy Hospital as "sibling bears", Melinda and Elianna's gifts to the big brothers and sisters who will not get to bring their longed for babies home from the hospital. It is our hope that no sibling will ever leave Werribee hospital with arms as empty as ours. Elianna was given a sibling bear by our midwives and has kept it safe and cuddled it every night since. It cannot ever fill the hole created by Melinda's absence but certainly offers her some comfort in this confusing and sad time.
(Photo by Steve Currie)
It is hard to imagine how life continues to carry on as normal after such an enormous loss. We will always love and miss our baby girl. My heart feels heavy with grief and longing, and yet at the same time is lifted up by the love we have felt from this community. We are quiet people. Not overly involved in the community, simply a by-product of a busy life. Since relocating here from Newcastle (NSW) 2 years ago we have often questioned the wisdom of our decision to move so far from all of our family and support networks. But after the events of the last couple of weeks we have realised Point Cook is our home. Community is what you make of it and with the loving souls of the Point Cook mums and the overwhelming support from the members of Lightpoint church we are pretty sure we've happened upon the best community ever. We are so full of thanks for each and every person who has kept us in their thoughts and prayers and promised to hold Melinda in their hearts forever
Sincerely Kath, Steve and Elianna Currie.
I am so glad you have such an amazing support system down there, in this time of need. You are one amazing women and I know you would do the same for someone else if the were in your shoes. Love to you and your amazing family xx
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